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Smart Car - Pork Chops - Macho Man

Another entry by Chance, when I got these words, I was kinda excited. This is the sort of absurdity I was hoping for. Sadly, Randy Savage passed away here recently, so I knew I had to pay homage, the dude was so loud and in your face with his character, though, that I like to think he'd be all about this. Smart cars are those funny looking things that get like, a thousand miles to the gallon and zero looks from the ladies to the mile. I kid, ladies probably think they're cute. I wouldn't say no if you were to give me one, people should be driving these back and forth to work instead of dually Rams that are three stories tall. This isn't about the comic anymore. Who the frack drives a farm truck to their bank job? Are you hauling cash in it? Is it necessary to park your behemoth three inches from my coup so that I can't get into my driver's side door, and in turn, cannot see past the bed of your monster truck so that I inadvertently pull out in front of someone coming down the parking lot? I wish Macho Man was here. I'd pay him in pork chops, or slim jims, or bone saws so that he could suplex your ass when you get down here and then flip your truck down the hill and I would laugh and laugh...

Did you know you are surrounded by zombies?

Popsicles - Winter Storm - Telephone Poles

Given to me by yet another high school buddy, Crystal, the telephone poles whipping their cords at a legion of popsicle sticks was the first thing to enter my head. Adding in a winter storm allowed for those pesky icicles to form to use as ammunition against these wooden undead hoards. I've never been asked where popsicles come from, I've never given much thought to where those little sticks come from, either (though when I was little I thought tongue depressors were used popsicle sticks...how gross is that?). But in the vein of Calvin & Hobbes, a particular favorite strip of mine, I framed the scenes in a B.S. story. Notice the bio-hazard symbol on the Ice Cream Man's collection box. Brain freeze? No, those bastards are trying to get AT your brain!

None more stupider...

Magical Yak from Kalamazoo

This turn of a phrase produced by Rena Marie when I very first asked for three words from my Facebook friends promptly brought to mind one single image. I couldn't shake it, even though I wanted to try and fight the obvious, sometimes the obvious is the only route.

It's a little bit of that old tootsie-pop commercial, "Mr. Owl..." you know the one. I see myself happening across this magnificent, mysterious, wondrous beast, I learn that it can do something fantastic, and like a jackass, I ask a clearly mundane question. This is me. I'm smart, I know I am, I can read and write, and even write so other people can read, but that's all in the long run. I can do a little bit of stuff on the fly, but presented with a situation where I must act RIGHT NOW, I falter. The brain painfully seizes and just like as I'm typing this now, little squiggly red lines appear under all the words. This is the death of me. I like to think I'm quick witted, but that half-second of doubt is murder, and the implications it can cause can reverberate for ages (I started initial work on my novel in 2000, and dreamed the idea in 1999...what does that tell you?). Needless to say, even though I might act a dumbass in the presence of a godthing, my trivial drivel probably acts as a refreshment to them. Does anyone care where the Magical Yak came from? I'm sure he was pleased to issue that one word response.

Now, about those sunglasses...perhaps the Empirical Duck from Yellowknife knows...

If you have to explain it, it probably isn't funny...

Reindeer - Election to office - Ocean

In our current political climate, when our two party system can't do right by its constituents, it would never surprise me if the most ineligible individuals get voted into any office. I thought, obviously the reindeer needs to be elected. I thought about a Christmas-y joke or two, maybe the reindeer are having their own election, looking to ouster Rudolph (side note: the reindeer's button reads: Reindeer, the other Rudolph). Maybe they're debating on rising oceans. Instead I had Alaskans voting in a reindeer, quick jab at their political history, then the ocean joke.

I knew selling this would be impossible, but I banked on the absurdity of it being just as funny. An inside joke is usually pretty funny to those in the know. An inside joke only one person knows, well, is probably just rude. I thought to myself, in the vein of old cartoons like Justice Friends, when we needed to see what was happening somewhere else from the action, voice-over guy would go "MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM..." so I had that in my head, and a couple of people at the bottom of the sea. One, myself, is musing on the seemingly odd spelling of his companion's name, while that individual is freaking right out about his unusual whereabouts.

I thought it was funny as I drew it, I still like the drawing, and I believe the absurdity of it all makes it work for the uninformed. However, it may work better if it were animated, including over the top narration.

This set of words was given to me by another old high school friend, April Yingst. I want to apologize for making fun of your husband's name, I mean no harm at all, I promise! This won't go down as my best work, but I'm still proud of my stinkers.

What is this... I don't even...

Welcome to my new blog! Who cares, it doesn't count until I get some followers, but I gotta start somewhere, a?

It all started back on July 27th 2011, when Google had the search suggestion at left, "Polar bears? Space travel? Chocolate Cake? What do you love?" Of course I love all three, and on a whim, as I am a being of pure whimsy, I drew a cartoon to tie all three together.

Of course I had to go the lolcat speech route, maybe a bit obvious, but, the absurdity of space faring polar bears who's only mission was to find some elusive chocolate cake...IN SPACE...demanded it. Of course there had to be consequences, and that's what you get for being out in space in the first place dummies! You're endangered!

Regardless, I shared it on Google+ and Facebook, and started thinking, three seemingly random things strung together in something coherent (tenuously of course). I find my own sense of humor, that is, when I illicit laughs from individuals around me at a time that do not involve me messing up or falling down, is when I react to a situation. So, I asked some friends to help me out, give me three words or concepts, and I would take a jab at it.

My friend Chance Wimmer, a guy I went to high school with and only barely remember (though he's probably my best friend on the internet), gave me Converse "Chuck Taylor All Stars" - Pudding - Elephants. Here's what he got in return:

Now, I ruminated on this for a while. An elephant wearing chucks eating pudding? Too literal. An elephant wearing pudding eating Chucks? Bizarre, still literal. Elephant wearing Chucks stepping in pudding to lead to a dung joke? Poop may be lol, but it wasn't tickling me yet. Then I took the first idea and put a spin on it...not an elephant, but the Elephant Man, Mr. Joseph Merrick. So there you go, the genesis of the first proper Three Words comic.

And that's what I hope to do with the blog installments of my comics. I will share the comic and its origins and inspirations, giving you an insight into my twisted thinking.

Now, this is just one avenue I plan to share through, I also have an open group on Facebook, here, and I opened my very first Twitter account, here, for my comic. I'll probably get a page up on Google+ soon.

So, please share, tell your friends there's this comic this guy is posting that you can have control over. There are limits to taste, like, I won't do Hitler, and topical stuff might night fly, like nothing with Casey Anthony or whatever captures the Nation's attention with its fresh blood in the future. But keep it fun, make it bizarre, don't try and think of what I'll draw, try to see if I can string unrelated things together, that's when it's the most fun for me. If I'm having fun, then hopefully you will too.